Perfection: A woman's presumed goal in life

A jolly good day to all. It's early in the morning and I am to wait for my usual time in for my community service at school. I had a violation and it’s best not to ask about it. I had just finished my breakfast of coffee and bread, which I always buy fresh at the bakery behind the school grounds. I had a bit of time to relax and enjoy myself, so I fancied a little social media entertainment to update myself on the local news and, well, entertainment. It's common these days, especially on facebook, this little game or trend where you tag people to a picture.

Example: 'Ang tunay na maganda malaki braso.' / 'Ang tunay na maganda mahaba buhok.'

It’s awful. Horrible. I hate it, this stupid little trend. I know I shouldn’t keep it to heart or let it affect me since it’s just a measly little joke to others, but I can’t help it. Perhaps men do really have different standards for women on what they define beautiful or perfect, but it’s unfair. It’s like they’re objectifying or sexualizing women based on their preferences that lead women to think or doubt their own beauty because they can’t seem to change aspects of their body to meet the standards of men they like. Thus, making perfection the very goal of women in our modern society! But as I write about this, I am not blaming men for this, but I blame the stupid sexism that befalls women who only wish to be comfortable in their own skin. Women and girls crave that beach body or to lose weight, have that surgery for the very reason because other women who are the icons of beauty have that body or that stupid high arched nose. 

Every woman is beautiful. I know that not because I simply see beauty in everything, but I too was a victim of this forsaken trend of attaining perfection. I wanted to meet the standard of what a beautiful woman is, which are those you see in tv or in magazines, and simply hated myself for being me. Some women are like that, because of such silly ideas that beauty is being perfect or accepted in society where they praise and glorify you… it's saddening, that being truly beautiful for other women is the mere concept of being praised and glorified by people for physical aesthetics rather than empowering and developing valuable character. I did not wish to lash out, but it affects me as I care for the beautiful souls of every little girl and woman that wakes up every morning and despises the person they see in the mirror. Rather than being happy, they quiver at the sight of their own beauty and crave for what belongs to others. Everyone tends to forget that every person is unique.

When I was still young, I despised myself everyday for being mocked and told I was ugly or fat because I didn’t meet the beauty of the other girls which they thought were beautiful or sexy. It was devastating, being bullied for my appearance and my dark skin… They would couple me up with boys that didn't want me and girls would taunt me for my skin since theirs were fair and white. With that, I aimed to be perfect. I aimed to lose weight and change myself for their approval. I starved myself and bought various products to change what they thought were ugly, which led to various consequences like anorexia and an ulcer. My hair fell apart due to experiments on having the perfect look, my skin had allergies on using kojic acid soap and my heart seemed to die everyday… this continued until my college years, and even then I was haunted by greed and envy for attention and beauty. 

But now, I've had enough.

I am so sick of tired of having to fit every glove just to kiss other people's asses just for them to notice me! I am tired of having to crave their approval and change myself just to meet their stupid standards. I want to love myself and glorify myself as I am a goddess, every woman is, and should only have to change themselves for their own development and satisfaction! Don't lose weight just to show your ex you're fine without him or so other men would want you, lose weight because you want to! Revenge isn't having to prove the other person wrong, but allowing yourself to finally be happy in your own skin and presence. Put on make-up because you want that extra confidence, sport that bold lipstick because you feel powerful. Every women should think less of what others would say and actually learn to love themselves for what they have. Every woman is beautiful and should be content. Life is far too short to woe others, woe yourself. 

Perfection is finding happiness and loving your imperfections amidst your insecurities.

Let them judge you or taunt you, but never let them define who you are by how you look, not everyone knows your story, so learn to live life with a beautiful character and be proud of yourself because you've made it this far.

Election day!

It's been quite a while since I last wrote a blog, and I must admit that I may be a little rusty, the same goes for my grammar and vocabulary. I just can't help but touch a very sensitive topic that is yet to be brought up in this heated time of the year, politics. Politics in my perspective is a very delicate and complicated topic on which I wish not to be caught up with as it may spark various controversies as opinion in this date of the year is justified by who has shared it, positive or negative. I hope to avoid negative criticism, as though it may be good for me, I do not think I am stable enough to handle such. May 9, 2016 is a memorable day for every Pilipino as it is election day! Various candidates aiming for presidency are sharing their own different methods to govern and change the system of the country for the rise of the economy and the lives of the citizens. Everyone expects so much from these brave and bold candidates since the Philippines is in a state of turmoil. But as amazing and impossible may their method's be for solving the problems of the country, every candidate aims for one thing, change. Do you believe, as a concerned citizen, that one man or woman that aims to be the most powerful person in the country can accomplish such a task? To be quite frank such a thing is impossible, especially with the short period of 6 years and with the risk of impeachment. As the elections come and passes by, people still think that a single individual can actually accomplish a change for the better, relying on the president for such pressure that is supposed to be done by all. Many expect change but refuse to change, fearing the unknown and inevitable as things may seem hard enough as it is to lose too much when you change. Perhaps some have become too accustomed to what they have now, since most are not too happy with having to change. Some as I have mentioned earlier, fear having to lose more than they already have. Change have it's consequences, especially for those in the lower class who have so little, including the voices to stop those who take away their homes and livelihoods for the better of the economy and the city's splendor. It cannot be avoided. It is hard for those who have to stomach such cruelty to their brothers and sisters do their duties without having to break some hearts. But as people are faced with the change they have longed so much for, they slap it away like a fly that had landed on their face. To achieve such impossibility cannot be done by one man alone, people should know that by now, every person must contribute their own in order to affect each other, as kindness and laughter is also contagious, so should change. What would be there for the president if the governed refuse to be governed? What will happen to us if all refuse to cooperate? Every little good thing you do can do so much in their own little way. Instead of taking advantage of those around you, why not help better them with what you have. Share your knowledge and wealth for other people's well-being. In these times it's even hard to trust your neighbor, but who can we blame? People often fail to see the fault in themselves because of pride or dignity, choosing to blame the government. Well, I blame them sometimes but that does not give us a reason to continue doing so. My father raised me to do what was right in the eyes of the Lord and the Law, and so should others. Poverty and a lack of a silver spoon is not an excuse to commit crime and sin, it is what we do with the gift of life that determines us. Can you picture the future of our country from now? Is it horrible? Then change. Imagine a world where your children are free from the fear of being mugged or kidnapped, so start to make a difference. Cooperate, do what is right and proper.

Change.

Buy and Bust

Hey-oh! It's been a long time since I last posted an essay or some random shit on my blog, so I guess now is a good time to start posting again. :)

Have you ever watched the movie Heneral Luna? awesome movie. Awesome.

It was a really inspiring film! Pagkatapos ko nga manuod nandiri ako na Pilipino ako eh. :P Hayst Politika. Anyways, so to speak, my project is actually a Wattpad story based from the famous line of Antonio Luna:

“Upang makamit ang karangalan, kailangan muna ng pagbabago. May masmalakas pa tayong kalaban kaysa sa mga Amerkano, kundi ang ating sarili.” –Antonio Luna

And thought of a splendid story with a cast of Heneral Luna actors and real-people inspired characters.

Here is the summary: 

Summary: Si Marvin Aguila ay isang binata na 23 years old na napariwara ang buhay. Matapos mamatay ng kanyang ina, tumiwalag si Marvin sa kanyang mapangabuso na ama at lumikas sa Manila. Kaso sa hirap ng buhay sa Manila, napilitan si Marvin na magnakaw upang may makain araw araw. Ng minsan siyang mahuli ay nakilala niya si Francisco Barrientos, isang pulis sa Manila na kinupkop si Marvin at pinag-aral. Pero ng mapariwara ulit si Marvin, lumayas ulit siya dahil sa kahihiyan at sumali sa isang drug cartel na pinamumuno ni Aquilino Anton. Ng siya ay mahuli ng pulis, nangako si Marvin na siya ay magbabago at titiwalag sa nakaraan niya.

I hope you can have the time to read my story and spread it to your friends! :D or companions, acquiantances... whatever.

You can find my story here: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/50416054-buy-and-bust

Self-love needs to be a trend.

Good day to everyone who bothers to read my blog! :> It has been a while since I last made a post and I thought, 'meh, why not? I am currently taking a little breather from mother caring (actually, I'm sick. So I can't really touch my daughter.) and decided to make a post about one of the most controversial issues of the soul, self-love. 

Self-love is so important for oneself because it affects factors like self-esteem and confidence that helps in one's improvement and bringing out the best in a person. Self-love is simply accepting one's imperfections and flaws and feeling comfortable in one's skin no matter what opinions they hear from other people. It's standing up for yourself when negative comments come your way and being firm when society judges you. But somehow, like a bouquet, the beauty of self-love is slowly wilting away as a person is affected by outside forces, often leaving someone like a hollow shell.

'he'll never look my way because i'm ugly.'

'I won't pass because i'm too stupid.'

'I'll never look as good as her.'

'She'll never like me because I'm a nerd.' 

Having no self-love is a serious and big deal because it may lead to more serious problems like depression. It's also heartbreaking to see people being harmed and frustrated by their own thoughts. But do not be confused and believe in the myth that you can't love someone else if you cannot love yourself. That's bullsh*t. Other people are important for you to gain self-love because sometimes it's them who point out the important things that you never seemed to notice because you're too busy looking down on yourself. Sometimes, the people you love are the stepping stones that allows you to love yourself since they love you, why can't you love you? And remember, everything has a cure.

Acceptance is the first step to gaining love. By accepting who you are, the world would seem so much better and life would be easier for you. By changing that 'I can't' into an 'I can', the impossible will be possible. Do not be blinded by society's ideal standards for beauty or people's opinions, you are not here to please them, you are here to please you. You are deserving of the purest and most authentic love, so do not look down on yourself! By accepting your flaws and imperfections, you will look back at those dark days and wonder why you were ever sad in the first place. Self-love is a cure for the times that you cried that you weren't as pretty as the girl you saw in a mag. Fancy your curves, smile and don't let other people's opinions drown your own voice! 

This applies to everybody, instead on loathing that a girl dumped you, smile and accept it. It's her loss. Women are not the only ones suffering from this, men have it hard too. 

Just remember that instead of looking for the right person, focus on being the right person. Self-love can take you to places that you've never been before, by embracing your skin and boosting your confidence, everyday won't seem such a chore anymore. Have an assignment, talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love. Don't compare yourself to others because they are not you. You are your own person. Enjoy that.

Stop shaming yourself. You are Beautiful!

Generation Gap

Generation gap is often defined as the difference of outlooks or opinion between people of different generations, sometimes resulting to conflict or misunderstandings on behavioral terms and perception. With this view of generation gap, it often makes people of the older generation to wonder what has happened to the youth or the new generation, as to how it was back then. They feel that during that time, children had more respect and displayed more proper behavior to the elderly. Yet the younger generation feel that they can lead through life with no guidance or the need to heavily lean towards the elderly for advice.

One of the most common examples of generation gap can be found in families, a matter between parents and their children. Children being young and immature, tend to neglect or raise a deaf ear towards their parent's heeds and words of wisdom. As to parents, being mature and wiser, tend to look with a blind eye in empathizing with the changing values and thinking pattern of the modern world, creating also a communication gap between the generations. Another main reason for this is that parents fail to talk openly to their children about conflicts and problems that occur in their children's lives, thus often leading to frustrated parties.This makes children see parents as authoritative figures as they only tell children what they must do without really explaining to the child why they must do it, as their only reference to that command is the mere thought that it was how it was done back in the day, which seems right and proper for them. As to parents, being blinded by their incompetence and confidence or being too busy with their personal matters, tend to overlook or become unaware of how their children are performing and how they are growing up emotionally, somewhat neglecting them the needed attention a parent must give to their children.

Another factor of generation gap within the family is how parents tend to be far too disciplined with how their children should be developed and not taking into account the children's emotions or opinions, thus stripping them of the confidence and inner potential. This creates certain dilemmas in their children's behavior and attitude as to how they respond to the elderly, also how they grow up emotionally. They may end up lying or become aggressive and rebellious in order to gain your attention or in order to get things how they want it to be.

An example of this is when a parent chooses the course or program of a child that will be attending college without asking the child's opinion on the matter, making it hard for them to develop intellectually due to entering a field on which hey have no skill set or idea in. Parents tend to be neglectful when they fail to openly listen to their children and understand them, taking into account their emotions rather than doing what they thought is best for them. As children neglect to their parents to ask for guidance, parents fail to understand and be open to their children.

Introverts: The Guide

People tend to misunderstand these species of people that seem to be spreading nowadays. Introverts aren't shy people to begin with, as some may state that they are shy, it has little to do with how they are an introvert. Introverts are people who energized being left alone and is drained from being with other people. They are more comfortable in the presence of silence and solitude which allows them to be left to heir own thoughts. They enjoy the power of the mind and spend most of their time being engaged in concepts and ideas of their own.

But being an introvert doesn't mean they are unsociable, they can be at most times but if they do converse with others, they would prefer talking to people that has sense rather than small talk. Even if they are good conversationalists, they are still drained from the presence of people and tire out when spending too much time with them. When they leave, it just means that they need to regain their energy so don't be offended if they do, it's just how hey roll so don't think that they don't like you. Introversion is a personality trait on internal feelings rather than external sources of stimulation.

Don't think that they never talk, you might be surprised that there are introverts who actually enjoy spending time with others, but these particular introverts prefer a small circle of close friends. How do you know if you, yourself are an introvert?

1. Being around lots of people drains your energy.

                    -- Some people may feel exhausted at even the thought of going to a party, they would prefer to stay at home an read a book rather than with interact with people. If you were an introvert, you'd rather retreat to a quiet place or somewhere comfortable where you are sure you will not be disturbed, leaving you alone to your thoughts. But even so, this does not mean that they are not able to socialize, instead of parties, they would rather prefer the presence of a family member or close friends because the thought of talking with them is actually pleasing to their ears.

    2. You enjoy solitude.

                 -- Your idea of a good time is spending your hours on a quiet afternoon and alone with your interests or hobbies or maybe a good walk in the park or watching your favorite movie as you munch on some popcorn with your pet. Maybe a few hours with your favorite book will be nice and relaxing, doing these things actually helps you get energized and refreshed. This doesn't mean that the average introvert always spends his/her time alone, they take a few hours to allow themselves to talk to their friends or family, just remember that an introvert will spend a few hours to themselves to energize and be refreshed.

     3. You have a small group of close friends.

                  -- This actually cancels out a certain myth that introverts don't like people. While typically introverts don't enjoy the thought or the company of a big group of people that they only know on a superficial level, introverts prefer and allow themselves to be in the company of close friends from which they have a deep or long friendship with.

      4. People often describe you as quiet and may find it difficult to get to know you.

                 -- Introverts are often described as quiet, reserved, mellow, and are sometimes mistaken for being shy. While some introverts certainly are shy, people certainly should not mistake an introvert's reserve for timidity. In many cases, people with this personality type simply prefer to choose their words carefully and not waste time or energy on needless chit-chat or in other words, small talk.

      5. Too much stimulation leaves you feeling distracted and unfocused

                   --When introverts have to spend time in activities or environments that are very hectic, they can end up feeling unfocused and overwhelmed. Extroverts, on the other hand, tend to thrive in situations where there is a lot of activity and few chances of becoming bored. According to at least one study, researchers have found that introverts tend to be more easily distracted than extroverts, which is part of the reason why introverts tend to prefer quieter, less harried settings.

    

The Third Gender

This year has started out as like to every other year that passes by in our life. Most people just wake up in the morning, do their chores, finish their stuff and eat their dinner... Usually, things end up going that way on any ordinary day. Let's just say that your schedule differs when you have an important event to attend to. But then again, like I said, that's what happens to MOST people on a daily basis.

Not everyone goes through that cycle everyday.

For these few people, everyday can become a suffering. It can be another day of hate or sadness that they need to endure until they grow up. But what exactly am I referring to?? It's simple.

Acceptance. 

Acceptance for those that are trapped in a body where their soul is not compatible to. Acceptance for those that want to show the world who they really are, but fear the judgement of society. Acceptance for those who appear disgusting to society's eyes and is shunned. With acceptance, they are finally free to express themselves and be who they really are without having the consent of other people. They are no lounger bound by their fears of judgement and harsh thoughts and finally be considered as members of society.

I'm talking about the third gender.

Some people call it 'third sex', but as I have to say, I think it should be called third gender because you see, God made two sexes. The first sex is male and the second is female, which refers to the reproductive organ that was given to us in order to reproduce. Have you seen a third sex organ? I don't think so. Then comes the gender, which was particularly boy and girl. Gender is an option given to us by the people on who we wanted to be, but is usually a package deal as to say if you were born a female, then you are a girl.

Though it is becoming natural for many individuals to be gay or lesbian or tomboy... it still cannot stop the minds of those that disapprove of the matter. Many people still think that it's not natural or that it shouldn't be tolerated. Some might say that it's disgusting or it defies God's will for the people, thus only making it more complicated. Even if we say that being of third gender is trending nowadays, it's still a dilemma for most that has grown accustomed to the usual way of boys will be boys and girls will be girls. What's devastating about this is that when a person says you are gay, it happens to show a low level of human being or in other words, an insult. Gay happens to mean happy by the way people! 

I happen to have a tomboy for a sister, even if she likes cars, girls and manly things, it does not stop me from loving her. She takes care of us and still does her responsibilities to her own extent. But the only problem is that my parents don't approve of her being a tomboy. When my father says someone is gay, it's as if he's disgusted by how they act and that it shouldn't be that way, like they're a virus we shouldn't be going approaching. It's just utterly infuriating. We were watching ANTM one night and there's this gay contestant that he never seems to shut up about because all he kept saying was, "He can't work in the modeling industry", "He's too skinny and doesn't stand a chance!", "He's just there for the show's entertainment." and it is horrible! 

Just because something is different does not mean that we should underestimate it. Every individual has their own set of skills and ability to do what they can and what they want. We should see them equally because we may not know that we are already killing them slowly inside because we can't seem to accept them for who they are... Everyday for the rest of their lives they'll end up feeling this:

And let me tell you, it is horrible. You are forcing other people to be who they're not supposed to be, hurting them and maybe end up hating themselves.

Do not be close-minded to these things because they are people too. ALL LIVES MATTER. And for changing your views today, you might end up saving a life.